A renowned psychologist and professor carried out a very
strange experiment on two beautiful rose flowers. He put the flowers into separate
pots, the best pot in the market, used the appropriate soil, changed water
regularly and made sure to treat the water with sugar, apple cider and a small
amount of bleach to control bacteria. He trimmed the end of the steam each day
and culled the flower. He called them Flower A and B and whatever he did to A,
he made sure to do to B. Now this is where it gets rather strange; for the
flower A, he asked his students to pass every morning and give the flower
lovely compliments that tells it how beautiful it is and to the flower B, they
should rain abuses on it without restraint. After one week, an even stranger
thing happened, flower A blossomed and had the best fragrance while flower B
withered. When you think of this beautiful phenomenon, you can’t help but
wonder how human the flowers were, how they came alive. I know it seems
unbelievable, but I think the flowers had ears that listened and minds that
hurt.
A man once told his son, “My son, don’t ever beat your woman, the
wound on her body is nothing to be compared to the pain in her heart”. My point
is, a man who beats his wife is a complete animal and prison is a weekend
gateway compared to the zoo I think he should be locked in, but physical abuse
is like a scratch from your pet cat compared to the tiger claw indelible mark
that psychological abuse leaves on the mind.
I guess my question is, WHO ARE THE VICTIMS OF ABUSE? In most
cases, women are the victims of physical abuse and like I said in my previous
posts, offenders should not be dealt with lightly. Hmm! I know the hearts of
the female folks reading this is post is pumping more blood in a fit of mild
irritation and if a mirror was turned to their face, I am most certain to find
a displeasing look that comes from a sour taste, and yes, I can hear the said
and unsaid words echoing out of my speaker saying, “TELL THE ANIMALS”. I think, with a complete reservation of
opinion and perception, not in a sexiest or anti-feminist manner, that though
men are physically abusive, many women are psychologically abusive.
Now before you crucify my unworthy mortal body to the cross,
please empty your cups and hear me out. Cage in the raging bull and listen to
my simple words. Women are psychologically abusive but for most women, IT IS
UNINTENTIONAL. Yes! You heard me right, they don’t even know they are doing it.
Men too can be psychologically abusive, but the percentage is very low,
physical abuse is more of a man’s vice and as much as I want to talk about
this, for this article, I would be focusing on the woman’s vice.
A man who was abused as a child spoke out in this exact words, “As
a child receiving both physical and emotional abuse, if given the choice
between the two, my preference would be physical by far.” You see, a child’s
spirit is broken long before the bone splinters. Sharon Jaynes in her book
titled “The power of a woman’s words” spilled some glorious words in her rather
remarkable book and I would like to share this with you not just because she is
an awesome writer but because she is a woman and this serves as validation.
Sharon said “While our words cannot bring into existence things that are not,
they do have the power to build courage into a husband’s life”. There is a king
in every man, a queen knows how to SPEAK TO THE KING WITHIN.
The renowned speaker Ann Wilson once asked women at one of her conferences,
if we love our husbands, why do we often tear them down with our words? You
see? Forgive them father, for they know not what they are doing. Lol. A female
friend, very wise one I must add once said these beautiful words “SPEAK LIFE
INTO YOUR MAN”. She told me how she highlights the goods he is doing, how she
tells him that he is a king and treats him like one, how she validates him and
when he faults, how she speaks to him like the man he is and not like a fellow
woman. She said with a reassuring smile, “My man listens to me, he doesn’t just
hear, he listens”. Women crave attention, men crave approval. A man that is
with a woman that treats him like a king is ready to go to war for her, he is
ready to deny his family for her, and he would work hard to give her the world.
Unless he is a psychopath.
Truth is, I have heard a few men say “My wife doesn’t need me, she
is a man”. This is extremely sad because it contradicts the mind of God and the
most importantly, His words that made man the head of the family and demands
that a woman submits and respects her husband. Many successful men attribute
their success to their wife, you know what they say, “Behind a successful man
is a woman”, I would want to add that “Behind an unsuccessful man is a
psychologically abusive wife”.
Finally, men fight for dominance, so when you start trying to
captain the ship under his watch, he forgets that you are a woman and he
tightens his fist and treats you like one of the guys. This is the reason for
some physical abuse that women face. A woman who disrespects her husband will
have boys who will act like women and girls who will act like men.
I know some wives are probably flashing the screens of their
phones or laptops, asking their poor helpless husband who is desperately trying
to avoid any disputes, if what I said is true. Guys! We know how it is “Happy
wife, happy life”, I expect you to be a sweetheart and say, “Hell No, It is absolute
nonsense”, so to help your poor unfortunate souls comment, you can post with
anonymous, but for me, this is an opportunity from the universe to be man. Grab
those BALLS on your mouse, scroll down and leave your comment. For women, I am
sure you are already saying more than you are typing. Gbam! That was the bell, LET
THE DEBATE BEGIN.
